Tristan the Unuseless
by ariesdragon
Summary: When Yugi and Company are kidnapped, the kidnappers leave out one person. Tristan Taylor, now it's up to him to save his friends from danger, but does this bumbling sidekick of a sidekick have what it takes to be a hero?
1. Kidnapped

Yugi swirled around in a black, business chair, faster and faster, the world becoming a dizzying array of colors, blending and meshing together. Joey tossed a ball into the air, up and down, up and down giggling every time he caught it. Tea stared intently at a comic book, about two friends who bravely worked together to fight various crimes. This dazzling array of concentrating students could be found in study hall, where everyone was working their hardest to get good grades and study.

"Hey Yug' watch this." Joey said, throwing the ball behind his back, and hitting himself on the head with it.

"Smooth moves Joey." Yugi said, hiding a laugh behind his hand. Joey threw the ball at Yugi, who dodged, causing it to hit the only loser in the whole room who was actually doing work.

"Wheeler, as hard as it is to for you to get the concept of learning through your thick skull, I must remind you, that some of us actually use are brains for something other than figuring out ways to drink out of the toilet." Kaiba growled, tossing the ball into the trash.

"Huh?" Joey said scratching his head.

Yugi sighed. "3…2…1"

"HEY WAIT A MINUTE KAIBA, I AIN'T NO DOG!" Joey growled.

"Ain't no, hmmm, first off, ain't isn't a real word, moron. And secondly, your right I absolutely agree with you." Kaiba smirked.

"You do?" Joey said.

"Yep."

"Dat's it, no other com, commants, insults?" Joey questioned.

"Nope, you ain't no dog."

"Joey, you used a double negative." Tea said, shaking her head.

"A double whosits."

"A double negative, when you use a double negative, it's positive."

"Huh?"

"It means you called yourself a dog, mutt." Kaiba snapped.

"Err, Kaiba, dat's it your dead!" Joey shouted, however just as he was about to punch him, the last bell rang for the day, and the students rushed out of the room, trampling Joey. Kaiba smirked and closed his laptop, and sticking into his duralumin case, he started to leave.

"Not so fast Kaiba!" Joey shouted, tackling the C.E.O. from behind, Kaiba pushed him off him, the stood up and nonchalantly began dusting himself off.

"Great, dog smell is hard to get rid of, Yugi you do realize there are leash laws." Kaiba stated. Joey rushed him again, but this time he saw him coming and dodged, then stuck out his leg causing him to fall into the trashcan.

"Well that was the lamest fight ever, Duke said, playing with his hair.

"Agreed, it was rather, umm, short." Bakura said nodding his head, in agreement. Kaiba smirked, and started to stroll out the room. A soft click signaled the door was shut behind him. Kaiba however hadn't shut the door as he was violently shoved into the wall next to the corner. A rag was shoved into his face, a foul order invading his senses. He tried to struggle, but the big, burly man holding him into place was simply too strong for him to handle. His eyes shut as he slumped easily into the man's arms. Grabbing some rope, the large man tied Kaiba's hands behind his back, then bound his legs togheter and slung him over his shoulders.

"I coulda took him if it wasn't fer dat trashcan." Joey said, picking a banana from the top of his head.

"We know Joey, but you really shouldn't let him get to you like that." Tea said, handing him a moist towelette. Joey pulled a chocolate cupcake off of his pants, and threw it back into the trash.

"Hey does anyone else smell that?" Yugi asked.

"Yeah, what is that?" Duke said, wrinkling his nose in disgust. "I'll meet you guys outside, that's awful." Duke said, waltzing over to the door, he turned the knob, and was surprised when the door didn't open.

"It's locked."

"Let me try." Bakura said, also trying to open the door, the gas in the room began getting thick, and everyone coughed and gasped for air. Within seconds everyone passed out. A tall skinny guy smirked at his work, than he began binding their hands and legs.

Yugi woke up first, he opened his eyes, the groaned. Yami was sitting vigilantly beside him in spirit form.

"Where are we?" Yugi groaned, Yugi heard another groan and looked over to where everyone was laying down. Hearing footsteps he quickly pretended to still be unconscious."

"Very good job Bruno, Vinny; it seems you've captured all of them." A French woman's voice rang out. She was wearing a beret on her short, bobbed, black hair. She was wearing a purple, strapless dress, with white fur trim.

"Thanks boss." A dumb, deep voice came out. It was the giant burly guy, with big dopey green eyes, and a shiny bald head.

"Yeah boss." Replied the skinny guy who had rolled knockout gas into the class room, he was the definition of scrawny, with slicked back, long black hair.

"Wait a minute, where is the pointy haired one?" Coco Le Rouge said, her eyes scanning the mass of knocked out teenagers.

"Yugi? He's right over there." Vinny said, slicking back his hair some more.

"No, no, I don't mean him. The other pointy haired one, what is his name?" She said snapping her fingers. "Triscuit? Tritan? Oh well, it doesn't matter, he's useless anyway. Phase one is complete, let phase two begin." Coco cackled evilly.

Coco didn't know it at the time, but Coco was about to eat her words, as Tristan was about to embark on the greatest journey of his life. He was not useless, and she was going to eat her words.

Tristan sneezed causing his popcorn to splatter everywhere, groaning he stopped down to pick it up, only to rip his pants. "Oops, good thing nobody saw that."

"I saw it." His sister said laughing, "Where's Johji?"

"Over there." Tristan said, pointing to a not so sweet or innocent little baby, quietly snoozing away.

"Thanks, and nice goofy goober underwear little bro!" She laughed, walking off.


	2. The Search Begins!

I dont own Yugioh  
"speaking"  
'thoughts'

* * *

Tristan nodded. "Got it, got it, but just for my friend here, can you explain that again?"

The dective sighed, "What friend?" He asked, rubbing his temples. Tristan looked around. 'dang it I keep forgetting Joey's not here'

"Look, sir, basically, their are trace residues of knockout gas, indicative of a gas attack on the pupils."

"Blah, blah, blah, knockout gas, blah blah blah?" Tristan repeated, rubbing his chin profoundely.

"It means My brother and your friends were gassed." Mokuba said, making his entrance into the classroom.

"Mister Kaiba!" The dective said, standing at attention and bowing.

"Detective Van de Kamp." Mokuba nodded. "So, anything new turn up."

"Not yet sir."

"Well keep on it, and I expect a full progress report when anything useful turns up." Mokuba said exiting the room.

"What he said." Tristan said, running to catch up to Mokuba.

"Wow Mokuba, if I didn't know any better I'd say that you were Kaiba." Tristan said, jogging to catch up.

Mokuba cracked a big grin, "I know, isn't it great! Being Seto is so cool, everyone does everything you say, and look at his cool outfits!" Mokuba exclaimed, twirling around, his duplicate of Kaiba's duel suit, trench coat and all swishing around him. "Feel this material, isn't it great!"

Tristan took the end of the tail of the trenchcoat and fingered it between his fingers. "Wow, that feels better than my bed sheets! It feels like water running through my fingers, yet the material is so sturdy, this must've cost a bundle."

"It did, and look, a personal air conditioner in the collar!"

"No wonder his collar is always up all the way, he never folds it down, but wouldn't it be a bit easier to take the trench coat off?"

"Kaibas never show discomfort." Mokuba said setting his face in a frown, and narrowing his eyes. Tristan jumped backwards as the temperature in the room seemed to jump down a couple of degrees. "See I'm gettting good at that! Plus no wonder my brother loves to work so much, a lot of his time is spent inventing and refining his creations, which is just like that feeling you get when you make something cool with your blocks!"

"Yeah, that feels nice." Tristan said smiling, thinking of the big city he had just built in his room with his abc blocks.

"Anyway, how do you propose we rectify this situation?" Mokuba asked, getting serious.

"Hehe, you said rectify." Tristan laughed.

"I'm being serious!" Mokuba said stamping his foot.

"Listen Mokuba, if you wanna work with me your going to have to stop using big words, I don't even know what you just said." Tristan said, exasperated, throwing his hands in the air.

"How are we going to save the others!" Mokuba said.

"Well first, young dude, we have to figure out cool nicknames."

"Why?"

"Well, if you get caught, the bad guys won't know who you were talking to, and two every super hero has an alter ego, it's like, the rules."

"Oh, well then, I'm Boise."

"What kind of name is Boise?"

"My kind of nickname."

"You know what screw the nicknames, next we need to figure out our secret headquarters."

"My brother has a hidden underground lair, we could use that!"

"Please tell me you kidding..." Tristan said, face faulting.

"Why, what's weird about that, it's cool his blue eyes white dragon jet is there, and blue eyes mobile, and he moved his secret super computer there, it talks to him, its programmed to sound like a girl, sometimes I worry about that aspect...he seriously needs a girlfriend, and it has a dragon copter!" Mokuba explained. Tristan's jaw dropped.

"You do realize your brother can be kind of creepy."

"Yeah, but he just a big ol softie deep, deep, deeeeeeeeppppppp down!"

"Well then let's go save the day!" Tristan shouted, taking off his trench coat and tying the sleeves around his neck like a cape.

"Yeah!" Mokuba shouted, running off.

Meanwhile

"Come on guys get up." Yugi said crawling to Joey and shaking him lightly. "Please."

"Still no use." Yugi said to Yami, who frowned. "What about Tea?" Yugi shook Tea, but she didn't move.

"What about Kaiba?"

"I'm not shaking him you shake him."

"No you do it."

"Why?"

"Because he'll hit me."

"So why should I?"

"Because Pharohs don't get hit by mere mortals, ouch, that's not funny Yugi."

"Well we have to do something."

"Fine then, rock, paper, scissors."

"Ok."

"Jan-ken-po!"

Yami smirked, he had rock, Yugi had paper.

"Oh, alright, psst, Kaiba, are you okay." Yugi said, poking Kaiba too tightly to possibly feel. Yami gave Yugi a look, and Yugi sighed and tried to shake him awake. Kaiba stired and sat up, and Yugi dropped like a ton of bricks, pretending to be knocked out.

"Good one of them is up, grab him, and bring him to me." Coco said, coming up to the cell, smirking and walking off. Kaiba blinked, still working off the cholorform and still to drugged to really know what was going on, as he was dragged off by two goons.

Yugi sat up, mouth open. "What were the odds of that?"

"Maybe we should hold off waking up the others, and take a nap? Yami suggested, Yugi nodded dumbly.


End file.
